I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
