Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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