He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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