Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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