I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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