Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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