Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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