Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
