i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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