somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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