Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
