Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
