just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
