Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
