We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
