we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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