I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
