Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
