I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
