exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
