none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
