I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
