You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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