I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's never too late to be topless.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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