Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
