my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
