I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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