Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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