Pregnant stripper...not hot.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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