i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
