My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Drake has all the answers
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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