You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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