the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
