I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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