Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
