I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
