well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
