All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
