were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
