You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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