Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
