I smell stomach acid.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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