Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize