AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
