five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
