I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize