who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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