the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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