Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
