When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
