I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am one with the molecules
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
