she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
