Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
