sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
