I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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