while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
