Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
