but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
