I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he thought i was a dude.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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