ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize