Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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