How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
