i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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