Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
