i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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