He passed out mid-signature
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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